Este es, sin lugar a dudas, mi libro favorito de esta saga. Y puede quizá de entre todos los libros de Eden Finley que he leído (y eso que me encantan todos ellos). Noah y Matt son un cachito de pan, y se robaron un trocito de mi corazón que no me han devuelto desde la primera vez que los leí en 2019.

Free cruise, he said. Pretend to be Matt Jackson’s boyfriend, he said. It’ll be fun, he said. You know what Damon didn’t say? That Matt Jackson is a miserable asshole.

Este libro tiene muchos de mis clichés favoritos. Comienza cuando la reputación de Matt queda destrozada al hacerse públicas imágenes de él recibiendo sexo oral en los baños de un club. El hecho de que sea un jugador profesional de fútbol americano y el  que la industria no sea particularmente inclusiva, hace que acabe sin trabajo y que las posibilidades de conseguir un contrato con otro equipo sean escasas. Así que Damon, su nuevo agente deportivo, decide que lo primero que deben hacer es limpiar su imagen y que la gente crea que está en una relación seria y estable, para lo cual eligen a Noah.

Huh. He’d rather deal with the media than kiss me. Someone get me a crash cart, because my ego just flatlined.

A Noah nos lo presentaron como a un casanova, un picaflor no muy de fiar. Da igual cuántas veces lea este libro que vuelvo a pensar que sus amigos no se lo merecen (a veces incluso Damon, y eso que él es el único del grupo que parece comprenderlo y darle manga ancha). Sí, es verdad que Noah tiene ciertos problemas y actúa (de forma deliberada) de manera que lo deja en mal lugar en ciertas ocasiones, pero, tras tantos años juntos, sus amigos más cercanos deberían saber que su actitud es pura fachada; saber cuándo está siendo un capullo para protegerse o porque él es así. Y la triste verdad es que según lo que vemos aquí a excepción de Damon (y por suerte, Matt) nadie lo comprende de verdad.

I want pain, I want it rough, I want to remember why I hate relationships. Because with Matt and that one look that will be burned into my memory forever, I run a real risk of forgetting what it’s like to have something more. The heartache, the mistrust, the fighting. I can’t do it. I won’t do it.

Al principio Matt y Noah chocan constantemente. Matt está preocupado por su futuro y algo traumatizado tras ser sacado del armario en contra de su voluntad de la peor forma que podría pasar para un personaje público. Además, su experiencia sexual es mucho más limitada que la de Noah, pues mientras Noah ha tenido libertad para explorar de forma natural, Matt siempre ha tenido que tener cuidado con qué hacía y con quién para que no sucediese lo que finalmente sucedió. Por todas estas cosas, intentan mantener su relación puramente profesional, pero entre la atracción mutua y que Noah no es de gran ayuda, acaban rompiendo la regla que ellos mismos se imponen.

I haven’t seen Matt smile as much as he has today, and I’m beginning to realize I’d do anything to keep it on his face.

Siento que este libro es más que dos chicos fingiendo estar juntos hasta que finalmente pasa a ser realidad. Noah es un  diamante en bruto, y el que se vean forzados a pasar tiempo juntos posibilita que Matt termine viendo al Noah de verdad. Mientras descubren las dificultades que el otro ha tenido que sortear a lo largo de su vida (que el padre político de Noah sea un auténtico capullo y que los padres de Matt sean seres humanos despreciables, entre otras cosas), intentan mantener las cosas en el plano físico, pero como suele pasar, es misión imposible.

Matt looks at me like I’m more than my money. No one has ever done that. Even my friends. I don’t help my case by playing the role of entitled asshole, but it’s how I survive. The one time I showed my true self to someone, he ripped my heart out for a college degree and a fifty-thousand-dollar bonus.

En este libro hay tantas cosas por decir que esta reseña sería infinita si lo comentase todo, así que lo voy a mantener simple:

No voy a comentar mucho sobre la trama Noah/Aaron porque creo que es un tema que se comenta mejor al leer la novela que nos da el POV de Aaron (Rebound, que se pueden encontrar en el libro Breakaways), pero lo que sí que voy a decir es que no comprendo por qué ponen a Noah como el mano de la película. Tenemos a una pareja con una relación casual, en una que uno de ellos (Noah) dejó claro desde el principio que no quiere nada serio, y cuando se da cuenta de que para Aaron es imposible y no le interesa, todos se le echan encima.

I block out Noah’s mumbled words of tight and hot and amazing, and every other term of need and affection because I know I won’t hear the one thing I want. I want words of forever and stay and a need that doesn’t include anything primal.

Los dramas familiares son interesantes y están bien desarrollados. Admito que me habría gustado ver un enfrentamiento entre Matt y sus padres, pero bueno, incluso sin tenerlo creo que todo está bien desarrollado, nos hacemos una idea clara de la situación de ambas familias y cómo estas afectan a Noah y Matt y, encima, que Jehtro (el hermano pequeño de Matt) aparezca de pronto y llegue para quedarse, es una maravilla. Jet es adorable y un chaval muy maduro para su edad, y su libro está a la altura de las expectativas.

Y, por supuesto, el romance. ¿Qué puedo decir? Me encantan las historias en la que a los protas no quieren enamorarse pero está claro que lo hacen poco a poco pese a que ellos no lo quieran ver. Está claro desde bien al principio (cuando vuelven a NY) que están hechos el uno para el otro, y es adorable ver cómo Noah intenta resistir lo imposible.

“I don’t want to put you in the same position you were in with Aron, so I’m bowing out now. I’m already too far gone, and I’m sorry I broke my promise. Football is my life, but when I’m with you, it’s insignificant. It’s a silly game I get a lot of money to play. If you’d let me, I’d give it all up, but I know it’s not what you want.” He pauses and waits for a reaction I can’t bring myself to give. “Please let me off the hook. Let me go now before it gets worse.”

En general, con sus luces y sombras, es una historia magnífica, bien equilibrada y que por alguna razón a mí me dejó huella.

This is, undoubtedly, my favorite book in this series. Maybe even my favorite out of Eden’s books (and I just love them all). Noah and Matt are precious, and they own a piece of my heart since the first time I read this book.

Free cruise, he said. Pretend to be Matt Jackson’s boyfriend, he said. It’ll be fun, he said. You know what Damon didn’t say? That Matt Jackson is a miserable asshole.

Their story has many of my favorite tropes. It starts with Matt’s public reputation shattered when pictures of him having oral s 3 x get leaked. Him being a pro football player and the industry not being particularly inclusive, he loses his job and it looks like it will be difficult to get a new contract. So, Damon, his new sports agent, decides to first clean his image starting from him having a stable and serious (fake) relationship with Noah.

Huh. He’d rather deal with the media than kiss me. Someone get me a crash cart, because my ego just flatlined.

Noah was portrayed as a casanova, a player and not very trustful. I still think his friends (Damon included some times, too) don’t deserve the guy. Yes, it’s true Noah has issues and that he acts a certain way that makes him look worse than he actually is, but his friend’s should know by now, after so many years, that it is just a front. And it looks like they don’t, really.

I want pain, I want it rough, I want to remember why I hate relationships. Because with Matt and that one look that will be burned into my memory forever, I run a real risk of forgetting what it’s like to have something more. The heartache, the mistrust, the fighting. I can’t do it. I won’t do it.

Matt and Noah clash at first. Matt is worried by his future and also a bit traumatized by having been outed against his will. Also, he’s much less experienced than Noah since he hasn't had the chance to experiment and live his life freely. While faking they are together, they try to make it strictly professional but Noah doesn’t help, and they obviously end up breaking that very rule.

I haven’t seen Matt smile as much as he has today, and I’m beginning to realize I’d do anything to keep it on his face.

I think that the journey of these two is much more than just faking it until it becomes real. Noah is such a hidden gem and them being forced to spend so much together makes it possible for Matt to actually see his true face. While they learn about the hardship they both went through (Noah’s politician father being an ass and Matt’s parents being absolutely horrible human beings) they try to keep things physical, but it’s impossible for the both of them.

Matt looks at me like I’m more than my money. No one has ever done that. Even my friends. I don’t help my case by playing the role of entitled asshole, but it’s how I survive. The one time I showed my true self to someone, he ripped my heart out for a college degree and a fifty-thousand-dollar bonus.

In their story we have so many things to talk about that this review would end up being too long if I commented everything.

So I will keep it simple: I won’t say much about the Noah/Aaron issue since I will develop that in the Rebound novella’s review, just let me tell you I don’t understand why Noah is the bad guy here. Yes, it has to suck being Aaron considering he doesn’t know Noah and Matt are fake, but the issue there was Noah not wanting something serious and never hiding it from him, then Aaron kinda falling for him and getting his heart broken. Noah wasn’t particularly mean for their friends to take Aaron’s side IMO.

I block out Noah’s mumbled words of tight and hot and amazing, and every other term of need and affection because I know I won’t hear the one thing I want. I want words of forever and stay and a need that doesn’t include anything primal.

The family issues are pretty nice and well developed. I wish we had seen a live confrontation with Matt’s parents, considering everything, but I understand Matt’s POV. Also, having his baby brother Jethro come live with them is amazing as he is another of my favs in this series. The kid is just so adorable and mature. Noah’s family is more complicated, I hate his Dad and I can’t understand him and how he behaves, but I loved how the drama went since it was heartbreaking but not too much, if you know what I mean.

“I don’t want to put you in the same position you were in with Aron, so I’m bowing out now. I’m already too far gone, and I’m sorry I broke my promise. Football is my life, but when I’m with you, it’s insignificant. It’s a silly game I get a lot of money to play. If you’d let me, I’d give it all up, but I know it’s not what you want.” He pauses and waits for a reaction I can’t bring myself to give. “Please let me off the hook. Let me go now before it gets worse.”

Also, we have the romance. I just love stories where they don’t want to fall in love but they do it kinda fast but don’t acknowledge it until the end. It’s obvious since early on (when they go back to NY), the two are made for each other and they can’t resist. Is cute how Noah tries, though, and then how some misunderstandings lead to them both feeling heartbroken.